nineteen.

i never dreamed of making it this far.

things are so wonderful.

i wake up everyday just wanting to cling and kiss and thank god i'm still here, with you.

i never thought i would wake up on my nineteenth year. wake up alive. you know, really alive this time.

and i may seem a little down on the surface, but it is shocking, shocking to be alive.

your bathing now. soon i will be. then we will watch a movie and make love and kiss away all the stress of the day. because we are now offically living day to day together, the 'visit' is over, its real life now, and we love every minute of it.

even when you gasped for breath and we sat in the dark of a misunderstanding we still knew it was ok.

even when your brother just came in and flexed his man boobies in my general direction i knew it was ok. haha. like yeah. new family is good.

not replacment family, just an aditional family.

i love that too.

i do miss the fam back home. badly.

i nearly cried when i got my birthday cards today from my parents and beck and uncle richie. yeah. but i know i'll see them all again.

i miss macauleigh something horrid.

ibetter go your getting dried off as i type. or i could wait until your dressed [why bother? heh heh]

in a totally uncharictaristic note.

i do love the nathan cock.

very much thank you.

but yes, it is more than sex. and i think some couples tell themselves that just to make themselves feel less dirty, or more special but yeah for us its true.

to know your making someone else as happy as they make you is fucking beautiful. justyeah.

so yeah we are together forever.

and we have the viles, you should see them.

and yes. the most important event in this entry. he sat up. he fucking sat up. i just watched in awe and fucking admiration/adoration/wannafuckhisbrainsoutation he did it. soon we will be out and about. faceing the world together, stronger than ever.

my boyfriend. so fucking hardcore.

so fucking brave.

how did i end up with such a remarkable man?

i'm not gunna question it.

just yes. i'm so in love.

so in love.

the luckiest girl in the world.

p.s HAVE YOU SEEN HOW HOTT WE ARE!?

Ali said it at 11:10 p.m..