PAINT IT BLACK April 12, 2004
when wverything is going great, its still ok to close your eyes and disapear for a little while, as long as you are sure you are going to come back, as long as you know it will only be for a little while and that life is better than being numb. so about three more weeks. that seems so fucking far way for me. every day is dragging on and on. its 830 now and it feels forever until 11, but we will get there. its so easy for me to look down and expect the worst, but i cant do that, i cant doubt myself right now. things are going to be wonderful. and for those of you *still* wondering. we are hopeing that the next time i come back, it will be with nathan for a visit. haha thats like a prerecorded tape in my head. rewind, play, rewind, play. but it is the truth so i guess its all good. i beat kirby. yes, it took me 5+ years, but i beat it. now i feel like i haev to get another game. just like a book, when it ends you feel like something is missing from your life, when really nothing is missing, its just life. and i love it. and its wonderful so wonderful how in love i am. how in love we are. and when we go out i will be the girl that will stop midsentence and lick her boyfriends cheek. i already am in a way. but when i really happens it will be wonderful and nobody can stop me. i have really bad breath today. didnt bother to brush my teeth. well i should end this. nathan is my every day every thing. this entry was shallow, and i'm not sorry. because i dont owe anybody anything.

Ali said it at 5:32 p.m..